Alcoholic Playbook

The names, places, and circumstances may vary, but you can be rest assured that most alcoholics and addicts follow a very predictable path. The same rationalizations, secrecy, prevarications and red herrings are used by gutter drunks to Boston bluebloods as if they were all using the same playbook; I call it The Alcoholic Playbook.

Looking more like the star of a tribute film to John Candy than a professional athlete, John Daly, an alcoholic with a bipolar golf game, will run the route for us today demonstrating the “Control Play". With at least three trips to the Betty Ford Clinic for alcoholism, four ruined marriages, and a gambling habit that has cost him upwards of $50 million- obviously control is not one of John's better talents. However he does not let this fact get in the way after an alleged drinking incident in the Hooters hospitality tent led to a golf analyst commenting, “The most important thing in his life is getting drunk.”

“That hurt. There were some rumours flying, probably because of my past. My lifestyle has been great. I'm eating too much, but I'm hardly drinking at all - and I never go out. I guess that's just the way my life is going to be for a long time because of my past.” ~ TimesOnline

”But I’m hardly drinking at all”… uhhh yeah, right John, you’ve got the drinking under control. You’re an alcoholic yet somehow you rationalize eating too much and the comments of a talking head as being more harmful than the fact the YOU ARE STILL DRINKING! A good sand wedge will not extract you from this relapse trap.

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The names, places, and circumstances may vary,
but you can be rest assured that most alcoholics and addicts follow a very predictable path. The same rationalizations, secrecy, prevarications and red herrings are used by gutter drunks to Boston bluebloods as if they were all using the same playbook; I call it the alcoholic playbook.

I usually use as an example the already publicized spectacle of celebrity drunken antics, that’s your cue Amy Winehouse, when reviewing a page out of the alcoholic playbook. This time however I have asked permission from one of my favorite bloggers, The Junky’s Wife, if I could use her husband as my playmaker.

The full name of this play is "You want to see something really scary?" and it’s a type that becomes more extreme each time it’s used. It has to be progressive for this to work on someone who has a high tolerance for addict inspired drama… especially someone like TJW, who has put up with years of this type of behavior. So let’s take a look at what stage of the game we’re in and see why the junky is calling this play.

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I recently ran across an advice column in the Washington Post where a reader asks for advice about her on again, off again alcoholic grandmother she no longer wants to babysit their child. Her concerns were appropriately addressed by the advice columnist; I especially liked the realistic comment about placing a “frequency” modifier on the disease of addiction.

First, your mother-in-law isn't an "on-again, off-again alcoholic." She is an alcoholic. Everyone in her life needs to recognize this important distinction.

No, absolutely no problem with the advice given but I would like to elaborate on the reasons why the advice is sound. Expressions like on-again, off-again, functioning, and mild in relation to alcoholism or drug addiction are often used by those who only glimpse a small window or time frame of behavior or that have a personal desire to see the condition couched in more palatable terms. Those who suffer from addiction are quick to adopt such descriptors as it seems to lessen the severity of their condition, after all, “if other people say it then it must be true.”

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No good will come out of the alcohol and drug abusing lifestyle of Amy Winehouse, so the best we can do is maybe learn from her addled antics. So take a seat on the bench and follow the X’s and O’s of the alcoholic playbook.

The names, places, and circumstances may vary, but you can be rest assured that most alcoholics and addicts follow a very predictable path. The same rationalizations, secrecy, prevarications and red herrings are used by gutter drunks to Boston bluebloods as if they were all using the same playbook; let’s call it the alcoholic playbook.

When we last heard from Amy she was executing a play I like to call the last hurrah in which she promised to get sober and her life back together after one last blowout at year’s end. We’re well into the New Year and since Amy is now smoking crack (watch this disturbing video) and drinking like a fish it’s kind of obvious that play fizzled. Rehab and getting her act together enough to perform at the Grammys seem a long shot now, in fact, we are probably in the final minutes of this game. So it’s time for the two minute drill, in football this would mean a hurried offense meant to move the ball quickly down the field in order to score. It’s a whole other ballgame when it comes to addictions.

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The names, places, and circumstances may vary, but you can be rest assured that most alcoholics and addicts follow a very predictable path. The same rationalizations, secrecy, prevarications and red herrings are used by gutter drunks to Boston bluebloods as if they were all using the same playbook; let’s call it the alcoholic playbook.

The latest news on Amy Winehouse shows that she is about to execute a play that is the bread and butter of those that have faced the fact that they have an addiction, but have either not suffered enough pain or haven't honestly decided to lead the life of sober recovery. Amy is calling it a festive binge; I call it “the last hurrah”.

Amy Winehouse Plans Massive Christmas Blow-Out Before Heading to Rehab

Amy Winehouse to Have Festive Binge Before Rehab in the New Year

This play is used essentially as a guilt avoidance maneuver designed to accomplish two ends. It fends off those pestering for treatment by setting a future date of commitment and allows the addict/alcoholic the freedom to “enjoy” their last embrace with their beloved drugs. Unfortunately that’s the problem… they still love their substance of choice and the lifestyle in which their disease flourishes. Rehab may still be in the cards, but going to rehab without desiring recovery is pointless.

If I had to make a guess at what stage in the addiction game this play is usually executed I would say just before or after halftime. There is still plenty of time left in the game to score a full recovery, but as with all addictions the game could always be called on the account of jail or death.

Good luck Amy, you’re going to need it because in this game they play for keeps.