The Alcoholic Playbook: Something Really Scary!

The names, places, and circumstances may vary,
but you can be rest assured that most alcoholics and addicts follow a very predictable path. The same rationalizations, secrecy, prevarications and red herrings are used by gutter drunks to Boston bluebloods as if they were all using the same playbook; I call it the alcoholic playbook.

I usually use as an example the already publicized spectacle of celebrity drunken antics, that’s your cue Amy Winehouse, when reviewing a page out of the alcoholic playbook. This time however I have asked permission from one of my favorite bloggers, The Junky’s Wife, if I could use her husband as my playmaker.

The full name of this play is "You want to see something really scary?" and it’s a type that becomes more extreme each time it’s used. It has to be progressive for this to work on someone who has a high tolerance for addict inspired drama… especially someone like TJW, who has put up with years of this type of behavior. So let’s take a look at what stage of the game we’re in and see why the junky is calling this play.

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Looking across the field the experienced commentator will see several events that have led up to the execution of this play. For one thing, time is getting short, there is a limited amount of time left on the clock .

He has about 10 days before he is officially without money for methadone. He only seems concerned sometimes. I'm not sure why he is so comfortable with his present situation. The relative he's been working for is done with the project they've been doing, and he's only got about 10 days' worth of money left. I have to stop thinking about it. It's not mine. It's not happening to me. I can't stop thinking about it.

Then the game as he knows it- is over.

What is scary is that I've decided I'm not doing detox with him again. If he doesn't find a job and get himself squared away, I'm asking him to leave for the detox part. It's not good for me, and I can't do it, especially not right now when I have too many jobs and not enough time. ~ 5 Days Ago

He has already try to use a diversionary play and it failed miserably, or at least that is what one might assume if not experienced in playing such a crafty opponent.

We had a falling out this morning, however, about his desperate, life-or-death need for weights… He thought he'd found a remarkable shortcut to avoiding paying bills. His aunt deposits the money that she owes him directly into my account because she doesn't like handing him cash, and I've told him that I won't take any money out of my account for "toys" for him until he has deposited enough money to pay his bills for the week. His loophole was to ask his aunt to take him directly to the store and purchase the item for him, and he seemed dreadfully confused at first why I would say that his idea wasn't good. Then, he became angry when I refused to tell his aunt that it was ok with me for her to spend money that he should be giving me to pay bills on weights. And then he yelled a lot. ~ 2 Days Ago

But in his reality, it was the ultimate setup. He has already proven to himself that everyone is plotting against him. They all want him to fail, I mean after all, surely dedicating himself to the quest of building the perfect body would have sidelined his desire for drugs.

It’s just the lead up to our current situation.

I realized as he stood there, still threatening me with a knife, that I was in a moment that felt pretty unmanageable, and I said a little prayer. I didn't respond to him for a few moments. I also, slowly, realized that there's a real good chance that he wasn't concerned about who was coming in the house at all...there was just too much he could have done to confirm that it was me, like look out the window at my car in the driveway. There was no need, also, for him to continue to hold the knife like that, so menacingly. There was no need for the yelling. ~ Yesterday

Now the funny part about all this is that it is not the screaming idiot with the knife that scares me, it’s the particular play that he is executing that worries me. He’s already used the dog ate my methadone excuse. He has already established that everyone is against him. Even the knife is old hat, take a look at this post from almost exactly one year ago.

So the last time my husband was acting up with the silverware, he got us in a whole world of trouble. I keep finding knives, everywhere. There is one on the back of the toilet, and one by the bed, and one on the mantle, and one under the stairs. ~ 1 Year Ago

Now he has to produce something truly dramatic to excuse the total relapse and failure he has been planning for at least two weeks now. “Do you want to see something really scary?” From experience I know this is where alcoholics and addicts hurt themselves, personally I’ve busted my face open… planned and on purpose. I know of those who have wrecked their car, committed a crime, and one person I know has even shot himself in the foot! My advice to TJW I gave last year still stands.

The Discovering Alcoholic said... I don't leave a hammer in the bathtub because its very presence just makes it all the more likely that I will use it. And using a hammer in the bathtub never creates pleasant results! Same with the knives in strange locations and especially for someone with an at-best tenuous recovery and frame of mind. Drunk and high but not using heroin? Got a job but doesn't work or get paid? Drug spoons that just happen to appear and now knives? Have an exit plan ready my friend. I pray you will get the best but be prepared for the worst. 1 Year Ago

Am I always perfect in my prognostications? Absolutely not. But one thing I know for sure is that an addict that is not working a recovery program only gets worse, not better. So when people are screaming and the knives are waving, what could be worse…???

I don’t want to see something scary. Please take care of yourself TJW.