Lindsay Lohan was arrested again today after miring her car in the mud when she pulled off the road for a quick rest stop. It’s a sad tribute to her state of mind that she could have avoided another trip to jail by driving an additional 30 seconds down the road to her house. The arresting officer’s report explains that the large bruise on the side of her head did not come from rough handling by the police, but rather from her inability to grasp the transparency of the Plexiglas in the police cruiser that separates the front and back seat. Apparently Ms Lohan was adamantly making her case for sobriety and kept ramming her head into the mysterious barrier as she tried to get closer to the officer to plead her case.
With a blood alcohol level over three times the legal limit Ms Lohan’s mugshot looked more like a glamour shot of the Bride of Frankenstein that was made even more complete by the fresh sutures on the shaved side of her head from her last drunken spree. It has been reported but cannot be confirmed that Ms Lohan not only injured her head last week, but also sustained serious burns from an unfortunate accident with a lighter and a bottle of industrial proof rum.
A source close to the Lohan family expressed her remorse that Lindsay had once again fallen off the wagon. “Last month we found Lindsay passed out cold in the middle of the street, the poor girl could have been run over. Her family assured us that they had the situation under control and that professional help had been brought in to assure her safety. Apparently neither Lindsay nor her parents have the discipline to control this problem!’
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In case you haven’t figured it out yet these are events from my past, not Ms Lohan’s. I decided I should carry through with this exercise when I found myself ridiculing the plight of a fellow alcoholic. As much as I hate to admit it, the non-stop coverage of this young lady’s problems had me almost relishing her obvious misery. No good can come from this. If my life had 24/7 media coverage when I was an accident prone, petulant, bratty, asinine, dishonest, lowlife drunk- not only would I be the laughing stock of the nation, the authorities would have enough evidence of criminal activities to put me behind bars for life.
While Lindsay and I may not be sitting in a tree D-R-I-N-K-I-N-G, we are birds of a feather. So I now sincerely wish her the best of luck, she’s going to need it. I know I did.
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I myself feel bad for Lindsay. Like you said, if I had my daily life in the spotlight for everyone to see when I was using not only would it have been an embarrassment for me and my family but also I would be in jail.
Some people (my husband included) get such a kick out of hearing poor Lindsay's latest "antics" while being off the wagon. They wonder how someone can be so stupid and not have any self control. They just don't get it. I cringe and think of what her life must really be like right now. Obviously, she has a very low bottom since she apparently has not reached it yet.
I would like to think that if all of my junky activities were out there for the world to see and if I was the subject of a joke in Jay Leno's monologue...that I would have hit my rock bottom. But who really knows.
I wish her a moment of clarity and that needed click in her brain that puts all of her addictive behaviors in perspective so she can begin to recover.
and probably has the enabling factor of money and endless codependents. I hope it clicks for her too, but she is probably going to need a real friend, a good parent, or a great business manager to point her in the right direction.
Ya -- my life with media coverage? ah hahahahahahahahahaha.
I wish people would leave her the heck alone.
Peace,
Scout
there is oh so much more potent ammunition I could have used!
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