Life altering possibilities

My husband asked me for a lettter to give to his lawyer, who in turn would give it to the judge who is sentencing him for his third DUI. In the state I live in that is a class 4 felony and the possibility of jail time is high. This was all I could come up with, and somehow it just seems like it is not enough.
____________________________

Dear Sir,

This letter is my way of expressing how my husband's drinking problem has impacted my life and how, if he is sent away to jail that would further negatively impact not only my life but the lives of his children.

For 17 years I have been married to an alcoholic. We have had two children, boys, now 13 and 15 years old. Because my husband drank, I have lost all of my friends, and most of my family. Because he had a drinking problem, I have helped to pay thousands of dollars in fees to courts and attorney's, to the state so that he could get his license back. Because he was an alcoholic, we lost a family owned business that went under due to his inability to function without alcohol in addition to the loss of less tangible things like my dignity, my faith and my trust. His children have lost much of their childhood due to his drinking and our lives have further been impacted by the stigma of living with an alcoholic.

My husband has been an alcoholic as long as I have known him and over the course of the years he has progressively gotten worse as the disease has taken over. We have had family counseling, marriage counseling and individual counseling and nothing seemed to work. In November of 2007 this changed, that is when he got out of jail, admitted he had a problem and embraced AA and the steps to a life without alcohol. Initially I had my doubts as to if he would be able to stay sober. I questioned his honestly and his motives for going to AA, but he kept on and I stayed in a marriage that I always held out hope would become healthy and addiction free.

My husband has been alcohol free for 171 days as of yesterday, April 14, 2008. I am encouraged and hopeful that he has found something to fill that empty place inside him that no amount of alcohol would fill. He has a sponsor, he talks about his feelings, he discusses his responsibilities and he shows me daily that he means to stay sober, that he is sorry for his past and that he understands he has a long way to go in order to be recovered and make amends appropriately.

My husband's actions were wrong, and should have repercussions. However, putting him behind bars and punishing his family for his actions would be crippling to us. My family has lost so much due to his disease already that his lack of income, would financially devastate the household in his absence. At this time, I am unable to pay the monthly rent and the bills on my own income, I would have to sell the one car I own and move the children & myself to a one bedroom in a neighborhood and a school where they know nobody.

My husband has been able to remain sober for this long with the support of AA and I believe that he can continue, successfully repairing the damage he has done to his children , his marriage, his family relationships and his financial state given the appropriate time. He is heading down the right path for the first time in 17 years. As an alcoholic he is not alone on his island, and it is my hope that what ever is deemed fair and right as punishment for his actions, does not turn out to be punishment for his family as well.

I appreciate your taking the time to read this letter.

Sincerely,

Catherine