mtnangel's blog

When I let go of the belief that my alcoholism was a disease - something I would have to live with for the rest of my life - I wasn't fully aware where that would take me. That's probably a good thing because I'm not sure I would've had the courage had I known exactly what it would entail. When I chose to quit hiding behind a victim mentality, which is what the disease concept became for me, I had to face up to some hard truths. If I didn't have a disease , well, just what the hell had I been doing with all that crazy drinking behavior?

Radical Recovery. That's the term Lillian and Murdoch MacDonald use in their book, Phoenix in a Bottle, for their recovery from alcoholism. Why is it radical? It's radical because despite all the commonly accepted beliefs that society has been fed about alcoholism, these two people found a way up and out of it and they feel no need to abstain from the occasional libation. Among the beliefs they have discarded are the following:'

Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.

Alcoholism is an incurable, progressive and fatal disease.

Submitted by mtangel of Eclectic Recovery where she explores self designed recovery programs.

You can never go back to being a cucumber.

I think there are a lot of myths out there about alcoholism, not the least of which is that there is a specific "alcoholic personality". But this I believe is true -once we've crossed that oh so mysterious line that differentiates alcoholism, we don't ever go back. God knows I've tried. Some people firmly believe that they were born with alcoholism and I've often wondered if I am one. Some obviously drink themselves into it. Some succumb after difficult life events send them running to the bottle for relief. But it really doesn't matter, because across the board, it seems that once you're an alcoholic, you're an alcoholic. There will be no more social drinking, no more wine with dinner, no more nightcaps.

This can be a hard pill to swallow - especially in a society like ours where drinking is glamourized and where, unfortunately, a stigma still exists that there is something morally awry with us alcoholics. While it's certainly true that we may do some morally reprehensible things while drinking, I don't think this is limited to alcoholics, everyone does crazy things while they're under the influence. And I guess this is why the 4th step of Alcoholics Anonymous bugs me no end. It states: "We took a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." Now the statement itself is not disagreeable to me; it wouldn't be a bad thing for everyone to do on occasion. It's the emphasis later on in the book about focusing on our shortcomings and character defects. Yeah, yeah, I know it says something about listing the good things, but that's not where the emphasis lies.

Is it possible that some alcoholics seeking recovery might be better served by placing the emphasis on their good qualities, on what they've done and are doing right in life? I find myself increasingly attracted to Charlotte Kasl's sixteen step program. The 4th, 5th and 6th steps of her program are as follows: 4. We examine our beliefs, addictions, and dependent behavior in the context of living in a hierarchal, patriarchal culture. 5. We share with another person and the Universe all those things inside us for which we feel shame and guilt. 6. We affirm and enjoy our strengths, talents, and creativity, striving not to hide these qualities to protect other's egos. It gets you to the same place, but the emphasis isn't on what is so terribly wrong with us. The extra step - #6, seems to create a balance that is sorely missing.

Just some cucumber for thought on a Saturday morning.

Friday, August 31, 2007
LifeRing Story in San Francisco Bay Times
This is a story of how one addict was helped by an alternative recovery program. LifeRing Secular Recovery (LSR) was begun in the San Francisco area and has many meetings based in California. It's heartening to read this guy's story. He clearly needed another choice. Thanks to LifeRing, he got one. There is a link to the LifeRing website on the left of this blog. And here: www.unhooked.com.

LifeRing Offers Secular Recovery
By Tom Moon, MFT
Published: August 23, 2007

Thank you mtnangel from Eclectic Recovery for this post, a blog well worth the visit!

Addiction is bondage. Whether we're addicted to drugs, alcohol, a person, food, sex or the internet, the most precious thing we lose is our freedom. Living in a self-made prison is like being a hamster on a wheel, running and running and never getting anywhere, always looking for the way out through the same door that got us in. If we're lucky, we begin to realize that we've caged ourselves into a cycle of destruction that will eventually lead to our demise. If we're lucky, we'll take the steps necessary, whatever they are, to free ourselves from the hell that has become our life.

As you can see from the information on this blog, there are more and more ways to find your freedom. Twelve steps, sixteen, or none, the choices are growing for those of us with a desire to live life on life's terms, free from the self-deception and demoralization that come with any addiction. There was a time not too long ago when there were no choices. What happened to us then? We ended up in institutions, jail, a burden to relatives, on the street, or dead. AA changed all that and for the first time, alcoholics and addicts began to find sobriety and new lives filled with joy and purpose.

AA is a wonderful program. Until recently, however, it was the only game in town for recovery. It's still hard to locate any face to face meetings other than AA. The danger when something is the only option is that it can become fundamentalist and narrow-minded. It seems obvious that's not what AA's founders intended, but due to the wholesale acceptance of AA by treatment centers and professionals, and their lack of creativity in seeking alternative solutions that would fit for all people, AA became their business and in the process neither AA nor the recovering community was well-served.

As people with addiction problems, we are lucky that things are beginning to change, albeit slowly. AA will not be threatened by these changes; it will be strengthened. We, as recovering people, will be strengthed by the mindful choices we are able to make about our sobriety, and society as a whole will be strengthened by more and more people freeing themselves from bondage and living purposeful lives. What path will you choose?