Hello everyone, it's been a while since I posted a blog on anything. I have tried to make comments on TDA's posts from time to time to stay in the loop. Today is a special day for TDA (it's not actually today but soon) and I thought I would write my own post and hope it worthy enough for him to post on the front page so he could take a little break today or tomorrow from writing. As you can tell he is pretty adamant about keeping the site updated every day - no matter how he feels physically, mentally, or what demands the rest of the world has for him. He knows this is part of his recovery and that it must come first.

I owe him thanks for my own sobriety and can't tell anyone enough about how much he helped me when I was still a suffering alcoholic. I can honestly say I probably would not have become sober without his help and concern. He took care of so much for me when I simply couldn't .

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I want to thank Screedler for posting these Letters From Hell. This is a feature from a guest blogger that I always promote to the front page, some of the language may be disturbing but I think it is important that the text remains unedited the way it was originally written from jail.

It’s been a while since I posted a Letters from Hell. This letter was not included in the original series, as it had been lost. It was found underneath the cushion of a sofa at a relative’s house last week. It would have originally fallen in between Parts 11 and 12; so I guess I could have named this Part 11.5.

Please click here to read all the other installments of the series. Just to catch people up who are new to the site – I spent 76 days in a correctional facility the summer before last as a direct result of my alcoholism. These are the letters I wrote to my family while there. Moral of the story - stay clean and stay out of jail – it’s not fun.

June 21, 2006

Dear Everyone,

Two days have passed since I last sat down to write. Things are okay, I have been thinking about my situation more than usual, which tends to make me more depressed than usual. It’s hard for me to keep my mind off worrying when there is so little to do here. I almost welcome the fighting, stealing, and scheming that go on around here as a diversion.

The book I am reading is very good, however it’s a two parter and I only have part one. I have requested part two, but I am doubtful that they have it. I will certainly get it when I get out.

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You will remember screedler from his Letters From Hell series that was a weekly favorite. He is now keeping us up to date as he continues his struggle through court ordered insanity and his own successful recovery.

As I was walking (my driving license has been revoked) from my place of employment to my random drug test; I thought about how much easier it would be to stay sober if it weren’t for the “powers that be”. Be it court ordered, probation officer ordered, court referral officer ordered, group therapy ordered or social ordered I have become less than human. I have lost all my freedoms except for what I eat and the right to smoke. Even though I am not incarcerated (anymore) I still have to pee with someone staring at my unit and be somewhere I don’t want to be most any hour of the day.

The court winds me up and sends me on my way each day to my numerous appointments. Let’s see; what will it be this hour – a drug test. No not yet – an AA meeting. Definitely later. Right now – beg someone to take me (drive) to my probation officer. Maybe I can swing by and see my court referral officer too. Well, if I can’t work any of those things in I can always attend some of my 6 hours a week of “alcohol and drug awareness classes” – that’s always fun. And you might ask? Screedler; how can I have such a vibrant schedule – well let me tell you – it aint free.

Here’s how it breaks down:

Drug tests: $20 a pop – sometimes twice a week
Classes: $40 a pop - twice a week
Probation officer: $30 a visit at least once a month
Court Referral Officer: $20 once a month
AA three times a week: free; but I do drop my share in the bucket.

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I want to thank Screedler for posting these Letters From Hell. This is a weekly feature that I always promote to the front page, some of the language may be disturbing but I think it is important that the text remains unedited the way it was originally written from jail.

This is the last letter in the series. I didn’t know I was going to get out until hours before it happened. Click here to read all the prior installments of the series.

July 17, 2006

Dear Dad, Sarah, Amy, James and Audrey,

I hope this letter finds everyone doing well. As I have told Dad, the last week has been pretty rotten. We have been in constant lockdown since last week due to fights and various episodes of contraband usage.

We are simply too overcrowded and the fact that they use this place as a way station for prison inmates awaiting trail dates does not help. They are usually trouble. We have been searched about 5 times in the last week. This means the guards go through and throw away and tear up all your stuff including my pens and writing pad. They also threw away all my letters and several articles of my clothing just for good measure. Since then I have gotten back a pen and some paper but did not have anything to write on (a pad or a table) until today.

Although I still have whatever kind of infection (staph), it is much better. Since Amy and Noah told me to stop using the Neosporin type stuff the nurse gave me it has gotten much better. Thank goodness, it was really bothering me.

There have been several arrivals and departures to my cell since last week. None were welcome, all I was glad to see go. One was a thief (yes he stole from me… and others) another was a bully. One was a thief and a bully. I must say I like only about 1 percent of the people I have met in here. I can tolerate about 20 percent. I dislike 60 percent of them and downright hate about 19 percent. I absolutely believe in the death penalty now. I have met some people here that have no redeeming value; the world would absolutely be a better place without them.

Click “Read more” to continue with the letter…

I want to thank Screedler for posting these Letters From Hell. This is a weekly feature that I always promote to the front page, some of the language may be disturbing but I think it is important that the text remains unedited the way it was originally written from jail.

This is the next to the last letter in the series. As you can probably tell from the contents it sounds like I am pretty much getting accustomed to Hell. You would be surprised what you can get used to. I can hardly imagine how numb the Correctional Officers must be. Click here to read all the prior installments of the series.

July 11, 2006

Dear Dad, Sarah, Amy, James and Audrey,

I hope this letter finds all doing well. It sounds like you all had a really good Fourth of July. We had a pretty quite one here in the slammer. Inmates just slept all day or watched TV. Everyone looked like someone had died, especially the ones that talked to their family and friends, hearing about cookouts and parties. I didn’t see any fireworks this year – not even on TV.

As usual people have come and gone out of my little 12 man area. Two welcome departures were Detroit (a.k.a. Lucifer) and his evil spawn ZuZu (a.k.a Little Nicky). After participating in three fights in two days the guards finally took them out of here. The last brawl with a Mexican resulted in bloodshed and I guess that finally got their attention.

This morning we had two more departures to Seg resulting in a total of four new beds open since last Friday in my cell alone. This was also the result of bloodshed. Several young inmates in my cell were picking on a new inmate named Ben – stealing his stuff and slapping him around. Another inmate, older and not out of prison for very long told them to leave him alone. One of the young guys called him a “bitch”. That was the wrong thing to do. You do not call guys from prison a couple of things and one of them is “bitch”. Needless to say the youngster who slapped Ben in turn got a thorough beating. There was blood on my bunk and sheets where the older guy slammed the youngster’s (we actually called him “Teenager”) head repeatedly. It’s weird but this stuff does not even faze me anymore. I actually sat within feet of the entire brawl calmly watching, eating a fried apple pie and having a cup of orange juice. Not quite “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” but equally entertaining.

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From time to time I send TDA interesting things regarding alcohol. I must admit as a recovering alcoholic myself, I have a morbid curiosity for celebrity missteps that involve alcohol and/or drugs. I guess it’s just a way to make myself feel better and say look – here’s someone who has or had such a cool life and they are just as screwed up as me.

Today I was actually looking at mug shots of the famous and infamous who have gotten in trouble with the law when I came across the recent story of Megan Harper. Megan is not a super celebrity of the Lindsay, Britney, or Nicole variety but she no less ranks as an equal in her “accomplishment” of a .55 BAC at the time of her DUI arrest. Her small claim to fame before this event was as a “music video vixen” of the Tawny Kitaen variety (see video below after page break).

When I originally sent the info over to TDA, he suggested I just write a story about it myself. I made several snarky and cute remarks about her video, her good looks, and how she missed her calling in a Sammy Hagar video (see above story title). But after I accepted the challenge of doing the story and I thought about what I was going to write about – it just wasn’t funny. The more I think about. It’s not funny at all.

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I want to thank Screedler for posting these Letters From Hell. This is a weekly feature that I always promote to the front page, some of the language may be disturbing but I think it is important that the text remains unedited the way it was originally written from jail.

Welcome to Letters from Hell - Part 14. Although in totality the letter and memories are pretty bleak, Part 14 nevertheless brings back some positive memories – in particular a change in my overall outlook from absolutely negative to somewhat positive. I think after seven weeks of drying out my brain was returning to a state that at least could be called medically stable. I think it was somewhere around this time that I may have genuinely laughed for the first time in five years. Click here to read all the prior installments of the series.

July 9, 2006

Dear Paul and Nan,

I hope this letter finds you both doing well. Nothing new here. The last couple of days have been okay. It was good seeing everyone on Saturday.

I guess the two biggest things I can talk about are how quite it has gotten since Detroit and his cousin have left the block and the fact that we have no soap. I do – because I order a bar of Lever 2000 every two weeks. – but most in here simply do not have any. Whew. They (the guards) say we went through 6 months worth of soap in 5 weeks. They are not saying when we will get any soap, but I am sure when we do it will be with restrictions. If we don’t get some soon I am sure attempts will be made to steal mine and from the few others that have it.

I have been taking a shower once and sometimes twice a day for the last couple of weeks because of the staph going around. I will probably drop back down to every other day to conserve my soap. Believe it or not if I smell clean people are going to “sweat” me for some soap and I mean constantly. It is getting pretty foul in here.

Click “Read more” to continue the letter…

I want to thank Screedler for posting these Letters From Hell. This is a weekly feature that I always promote to the front page, some of the language may be disturbing but I think it is important that the text remains unedited the way it was originally written from jail.

Welcome to Letters from Hell - Part 13. As befitting the holiday season this letter deals with a holiday; just not Christmas. Click here to read all the prior installments of the series.

July 6, 2006

Dear Paul and Nan,

I hope this letter finds you both doing well. I hope the holiday was enjoyable for you both. It was just another day here in the joint. It was actually quieter than usual. I think subconsciously it made everyone miss there freedom more than they were willing to admit. Everyone kind of stayed in their racks or watched TV in the dayroom. Believe it or not there was actually a marathon of Steven Seagal movies on AMC and that’s what everyone wanted to watch. It was actually a subset of a larger marathon called the “Four Fathers of Action” which included a block of movies from Seagal, Chuck Norris, Jet Li and J.C. Van Damme over a period of 48 hours. I tried to sleep more than usual.

Many thanks again for taking care of all my business while I’m in here. It sounds like I will be in here at the very minimum for another month or so. It could very well be longer – hopefully you won’t have to deal with the wake of my problems I created for a while. I know the only way I can repay you is to stay sober and I intend to do that.

I have been incarcerated for 62 days now. Each day goes by very slowly but looking back on it, it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long.

Click "read more" to continue with the letter...

I want to thank Screedler for posting these Letters From Hell. This is a weekly feature that I always promote to the front page, some of the language may be disturbing but I think it is important that the text remains unedited the way it was originally written from jail.

Welcome to Letters from Hell - Part 12. This letter is a little out of sequence as I left a couple of letters at work thinking I would have time to transcribe them but did not. But being as there isn’t much of a back story except an alcoholic in jail, I am going to go ahead and let TDA put it out this week and correct the order later when they have all been done. I think there’s only one or two short letters missing in between. Click here to read all the prior installments of the series.

June 25, 2006

Dear Paul and Nan,

I hope this letter finds you both doing well. It was good seeing you Saturday. It’s late (10:30ish) Sunday evening and the TV has just been cut off. We are in lockdown for the night and about half of my cellmates have pulled the covers over their eyes. The lights have been dimmed but there is still enough light to read and write.

My friend T-bone is reading the Bible to my right. It’s the only book he reads. He has court on Wednesday and is a little nervous. To my left, three people are arguing loudly over a card game. Resting on the farthest bunk from me (about 12 feet away) is a new inmate laughing crazily at them. It is the forced nervous insane laugh of someone who is not all here. He is 18 and does not know how to act in here at all. I can predict with 90% percent certainty that someone will beat him up by mid-week. I am positive he has mental problems. It’s a shame, but I will welcome his beating if it will shut his mouth or better yet get him out of here.

Click "read more" to continue with the letter...

I want to thank Screedler for posting these Letters From Hell. This is a weekly feature that I always promote to the front page, some of the language may be disturbing but I think it is important that the text remains unedited the way it was originally written from jail.

Welcome to Letters from Hell Part 11. Click here to read all the prior installments of the series. Today is the 72nd day since I first started posting these letters to TDA’s website. I used an online calculator to come up with these statistics:

That’s about how long I was in the slammer. Actually I was in 76 days. I just wanted you to get a feel for how long (or short) that length of time is. Has anyone one read all the Letters from Hell since the beginning? Does it seem like a long time ago? I can assure you it seemed like an eternity in the Shelby County Correctional Facility.

June 18, 2006

Dear Dad, Sarah, Amy, James and Audrey,

Hello to everyone. I hope this letter finds all doing well. It was good seeing Dad and Paul yesterday. I hope my house sells and that everything goes smoothly with the movers. I truly wish I could help. I know I am very lucky to have Paul taking care of everything for me.

I was robbed yet again (the fifth time if anyone is keeping track), but this time it was kind of a trap to see if I could catch the person that keeps on stealing from me. On Friday mornings we always get the best breakfast of the week; two biscuits, gravy and a boiled egg. As you know, I don’t like boiled eggs, so I usually trade my egg in the morning for an extra biscuit. The boiled eggs are a delicacy here, because people will save them and pickle them by putting them in the juice of a “store bought” hot pickle. Friday morning I saved my egg and placed it in a used orange juice cup conspicuously at the end of my bunk. Unfortunately, I was once again foiled (between Saturday night and Sunday morning) and did not catch the thief.

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